THE TERRORIST NEXT DOOR

By Humberto Fontova

The plan called for blowing up The Statue of Liberty, Macy’s, Grand Central Station, The Humble Oil refinery in Linden New Jersey, and several Manhattan subway stations. The FBI found manuals with diagrams showing the correct placement of incendiaries for "maximum destruction" to oil tanks, trains, and subway stations. The manuals also cautioned against "attaching detonators to incendiary bombs while on your person."

The terrorists hid 500 kilos of TNT in a Manhattan jewelry shop for the deed and the explosions were timed for rush hour.

Alas, the FBI cracked the terrorist plot and closed in on the culprits. One was named Roberto Santiesteban and he was nabbed while walking down Riverside Drive. As the agents closed in, Santiesteban saw them and –beep-beep!–took off like the Roadrunner. I mean he turned on the afterburners.

He was sprinting down the sidewalk and hurdling hedges like a true Olympian. Santiesteban probably looked like Richard Pryor running down that L.A. street, except he wasn’t on fire. And instead of screaming and flailing his arms crazily, Santiesteban was jamming paper in his mouth and chewing furiously.

But six FBI agents were after him, all fleet of foot themselves. Their hats (mandatory back them) immediately flew off when they sprung to the chase. Their patent leather shoes slapped the concrete and their ties flapped furiously over their shoulders as they leaped and galloped in hot pursuit.

Finally they closed the ring and "triangulated" the suspect. AHA! they said as they stood there panting. For a few seconds, they glared at each other. Finally an agent pounced.

Santiesteban dodged him like Jackie Chan dodging a Ninja. Another FBI man quickly dove in, got hold, but the slippery rascal spun and broke his tackle like Jim Brown in his glory days. Roberto dodged and weaved frantically. Gale Sayers and Tommy Dorset were spastics compared to this guy. That Tasmanian Devil on the Bugs Bunny cartoons comes to mind.

Finally the FBI guys gangswarmed the little speedster. Santiesteban fell, raging and cursing, flailing his arms and jabbing his elbows like a maniac. They grabbed his arm and bent it behind his back just as he was reaching for his pistol.

While this group got their man (and a vigorous work-out), another group had the much easier task of arresting a couple named Jose and Elsa Gomez as they left their apartment on W 71st street. These gave in without a struggle

The FBI speculated that as many as 30 others might have been in on the plot, but these were the head honchos. The date was October, 13 1962. Had those detonators gone off, 9-11 might be remembered as the SECOND deadliest terrorist attack on U.S. soil.

Santiesteban and the Gomez’ all belonged to the Castro-Cuban Mission to the U.N. The plan for 500 kilos of TNT to kill thousands of New Yorkers was hatched by Helluva guy. Fortunately we had a crackerjack FBI back then, J. Edgar Hoover’s outfit, employing such as the "G-Man" Gordon Liddy.

Do I hear Pinks sniveling out there?.......Yes I do!

"Dream on, you crackpot Cuban exiles!" They snivel. "When will you insufferable people abandon your vain hope of reclaiming your mansions and sugar mills! These outrageous lies and slanders wont help!"

Dream on yourselves, Pinks. We didn’t make this up. Read it for yourselves. It’s in a book published in 1967 titled, "The FBI’s Most Famous Cases" by Andrew Tully, a best-selling author and newspaper columnist who won the Ernie Pyle award in his day. So there.

Interestingly, just last month President Bush expelled 14 Cuban "diplomats" for engaging in "unacceptable activities." Seven were from the U.N. mission. Equally interesting, just a week after Sept 11, 2001, the Defense Intelligence Agencies TOP Latin American analyst, Ana Belen Montes, was arrested by the FBI as a Castro spy.

Can you JUST IMAGINE (!) if something like this could be traced to Pinochet, Somoza or Botha??!!

"AAAAAHHHH!!!" We’d never hear the end of it! The Beltway media would STILL be squawking about it.....Oops! I take that back. Something like this WAS traced to Botha. We have it on the good authority of Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon.

Call me crazy, but wouldn’t this multiple bomb-plot make a dynamite topic for Dan, Baba or Andrea to bring up with "Helluva guy" during their next kissy-poo sessions in front of the network cameras?

"Mr President" they might ask. "With all due respect and admiration, sir, according to the FBI, you had plans to blow up a good portion of New York City back in 1962. Only the fact that we had a crackerjack FBI at the time kept you from committing a crime against American civilians as ghastly and murderous as Osama Bin Laden’s. The will to commit this mass murder seemed certainly to be there, sir, only the means seemed lacking.

"Also, Mr President, during this same period, declassified documents show that you pleaded with Nikita Khrushchev to launch a pre-emptive nuclear strike against the U.S.

"Also Mr President, since the day you took office, Cuba has served as a haven for every terrorist group from, ETA to the IRA to the PLO to the Black Panthers and SDS. We recall, Mr President, that the infamous Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, also known as "Carlos The Jackal," the most adept and murderous terrorist of the 70's, receive his training in your country and later found refuge in your country. We also recall that just last year in Teheran you boasted with the Iranian leadership (full-fledged Axis of Evil members) that "together, Iran and Cuba can bring America to her knees."

"Also, Mr President, according to Soviet defector Ken Alibek, strong suspicions exist that you harbor Weapons of Mass Destruction.

"We might mention, sir, that in the past two years our nation’s armed forces traveled across half the globe to blast into oblivion two different regimes for activities that–please excuse my impertinence, Mr President–but activities that may strike many of our viewers as remarkable similar to those I’ve just mentioned, with the exception that those regimes did not steal 2 billion in U.S. property and riddle dozens of U.S. citizens with firing squads, many after torture.

"In light of all this, Mr President-- and without even getting into the sensitive topic of what you do to your own subjects–we would like to give you the opportunity to explain to our viewers why the American people should , not just tolerate your presence 90 miles from their shores, but also feel compelled to subsidize your regime.

"You see, Mr President, we hear that– far from any blockade–in actuality, you’re perfectly free to buy anything your little heart desires from any country in the world. And that you’re perfectly free to buy even from foreign subsidiaries of U.S. companies. Many of our viewers vacation in Mexico, Mr President. And they can’t help but notice that a bottle of Kaopectate, for instance, or a pint of Pepto Bismol, or a pair of Just My Size Pantyhose, all cost less in Mexico than in the U.S. So we can’t blame them for assuming the same holds for you, sir.

"Also, they hear that you’re perfectly free to buy any and all food and medicinal products even from U.S. headquartered companies with cash. And that most of the products rationed or unavailable to your desperate subjects in Cuba are not part of any embargo at all, in fact they were EXPORTED by Cuba before you took power and initiated the glorious Revolucion, sir.

"In light of all this, some people–and we’re not for a second suggestion we’re among them, Mr President–but some people are suggesting that "ending the embargo" is simply a scheme, expertly camouflaged by powerful congressional and business interests, to plunder the already over-plundered paycheck of working Americans in order to subsidize a regime every bit as terroristic, murderous and hostile to U.S. interest as the ones hundreds of our valiant boys recently gave their lives liberating, sir.

"You have all the time you need to answer, Mr President."


END


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